Writing Your Wedding Vows - Top Tips From a North East Celebrant

Writing your wedding vows can feel daunting at first. Where do you even begin?

But there's no need to worry - once you break the ice, your words will start to flow and before you know you will have created beautiful, meaningful vows your partner will love!

As a celebrant, I have lots of advice to support you all the way. To start with, I always say ...

Speak From Your Heart!

It's not about perfection - your partner wants to hear from you.

Use your own words. Keep them personal, meaningful and authentic.

There’s no need for grand poetry or elaborate frills. The most powerful vows are the ones that sound like they could only ever come from you.

Trust yourself!

Have a Conversation with Your Partner

Before you put pen to paper, have a chat with your partner about what you both want.

• How long would you like your vows to be?

• Do you want them to be romantic, light-hearted, traditional or modern?

• Will you focus more on promises for the future or the love you feel for one another?

• Is the story of how you fell in love something you will talk about?

  
  

It’s just as important to discuss anything you don’t want included. Many couples choose to leave out traditional phrases and instead use language that reflects their relationship and personality. The key is to make sure you’re both on the same page with the style and tone so your vows feel authentic, equal and completely right for you both.

Gather Your Thoughts

The best ideas will come to you when you’re relaxed, like first thing on a morning, during a quiet walk or last thing at night. Keep your phone or a small notebook nearby and jot your thoughts down as they come. Reflect on:

The Beginnings ...

How did you meet? What were your first impressions? What first attracted you? What tiny moment still makes you smile?

The Realisation

When did you know they were “the one”? When did you fall head over heels? What made you decide you wanted to marry this person and spend the rest of your life with them?

How Do They Make You Feel?

Like a prince or princess? Can you tell them anything? Do they listen? Do they get you? How do you feel in their arms? Safe & calm? Whatever it is, let them know. 

What Do You Love Most?

From the big, beautiful things to their tiniest little quirks.

How do they support you? What melts your heart? What do they mean to you? How do you love spending time together? What do you admire most about them?

This is your moment to say it all - the obvious, the subtle, the silly and the deepest parts.

Gratitude

How has your life changed because of them? Do they make you feel braver, happier, stronger? Let them know what they bring to your life and just how thankful you are to have them by your side.

Hopes for Your Future

Paint the picture of the life you’ll build together. What are you most looking forward to? Adventures, quiet Sundays, debates, pub crawls? Think about how you will face life, together, side by side.

Your Promises

What are you going to commit to?

To choose them, every, single day? To listen to them and always be there of them? To support and love them, exactly as they are, unconditionally, forvever?

Inspiration - Look at your partner and think about what they mean to you - they are your source of inspiration. Why not include a quote from a special book, song, movie or poem? Something that means a lot to you as a couple. Maybe from a song you listened to when you first met or your favourite movie?

Including Humour

Many couples choose to include a touch of humour in their vows. If this sounds like something you’d love to do, just reflect on whether your partner will genuinely find your words amusing - and remember, it needs to work beautifully as part of your wedding ceremony. You certainly don’t want to offend the love of your life on one of the most magical days of their life!

Also… this isn’t your moment for stand-up comedy - as talented as you might be! Your vows are about making your partner feel on top of the world and truly special - while keeping your personality (the one they clearly adore!) gently interwoven throughout.

Now you’ve gathered all your thoughts, you're now ready to begin shaping them into a structure that works for you. There’s no strict formula you have to follow - just a gentle flow that feels natural when you read it out loud.

• You might begin with why you’re standing there today and what your partner means to you.

• Share a little of your story - how it all began, when you knew, the moments that shaped your love.

• From there, speak about what you admire most, how they make you feel and what life is like with them in it.

• Move into your hopes for the future - the life you’ll build, the adventures you’ll take, the quiet moments you’ll treasure.

• And finally, make your promises. The commitments that truly matter to you.

• End on something meaningful - something that feels completely heartfelt.

Remember… they don’t need to be perfect - they just need to be yours.

Practice reading them out loud

This will help you to edit them and check the timing works: aim for 1-2 mins.

You can always share them with a trusted friend for constructive feedback too.

The more you practise, the more calm you will feel.

Speak loud and proud and remember to take your time so you can mean every word. 

Sharing Your Vows

Remember to look into your partner's eyes - this is your chance to tell them just how much they mean to you. There's no need to learn your vows off by heart - I will have them ready for you and pass them to you at the right moment. I will make sure the font is large too, to help you find your place and allow you to look at your partner as much as you can, especially at the most meaningful moments.

Take a breath, relax and enjoy every, precious moment!

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