How to Calm Wedding Nerves: A Celebrants Guide to Feeling Relaxed and Present on your Wedding Day

Your wedding day will be one of the happiest and most wonderful days of your life, so let’s make sure you can look forward to it with confidence and excitement, knowing you’ll enjoy every moment!!

Many brides and grooms feel some pre-wedding jidders and often worry about being the centre of attention, so if you’re feeling this way, rest assured - it’s completely normal!! You have put so much time and effort into planning your big day, it's natural to feel some pressure. For many, standing in front of a room full of people, especially when you may need to speak, can feel daunting too. Even the most confident people can feel nervous - at the end of the day this just reflects how much you care!

The good news is that there are lots of ways to calm those wedding nerves - and I’m right here to guide you! As a celebrant, I’ve shared lots of techniques with couples that have helped them to feel much calmer and confident, allowing them to fully embrace their day.

Here's a list of my best advice so that you too can enjoy every moment of your very special day.

Your Guests Are There To Support You!

One of the biggest worries couples share is the feeling that everyone will be watching and judging them - this isn't the case. Your guests are there because you care about them and they care about you. Most, if not all of them, will be close friends and family who are excited to witness your marriage and celebrate with you! Being invited to share such in such a special moment is a real privilege for them. Think about weddings you’ve attended yourself and how you've felt as a guest!

If you've chosen to have a celebrant-led ceremony, you have made the perfect choice for your guests too - because it's going to be different from all the others they've attended! Choosing to have a personal and unique ceremony means your guests are completely engaged and moved. Hearing your story and learning all about your journey together makes it so touching, meaningful and memorable!

Be Yourself!

No one is expecting a performance.

Your partner and your guests just want to see you and how happy you are.

If you stumble over your words, laugh, or get emotional, this will only make your day even more real and beautiful!

Be true to you - invested in the moment - that's what makes your wedding so special and so memorable!

Focus on Your Partner

Remember why you are there - what's this all for!? You are marrying your person - your one true love - the person who means everything to you! Keep that perspective thoughtout your day! Look into your partners eyes - they are the reason you’re there - this is exactly what you've both been waiting for...

Take a deep breath, hold their hands, take in just how stunning they look. In that moment, it can feel as though it’s just the two of you. Keep your focus on your partner - your guests simply have the privilege of witnessing this beautiful moment.

Focusing on your partner's smile, their voice, their reassuring touch will instantly calm your nerves and help you stay grounded in each moment.

Remember to find time to take these moments in throughout your day too - there will be plenty guests to talk to - but you want to make sure you have plenty time to enjoy your new wife/husband on your wedding day adn take it all in!

If you've chosen a celebrant - another bonus is that we get to know you - so there’s a friendly, familiar face waiting to lead your ceremony! Your script's written especially for you, so it's exactly as you want it, it reflects your style and your personality so you can rest assured you know exactly what to expect! We also arrive nice and early to make sure that everything is in hand, which really helps to ease your nerves.

Simple Breathing Techniques Really Help ...

Having a few breathing techniques ready can be incredibly helpful when nerves appear.

Slow, deep breathing sends a signal to your brain that you are completey safe, you are exactly where you want to be, everything is in hand!

A simple technique is:

• Breathe in slowly through your nose

• Fill your lungs fully

• Hold for a moment

• Then breathe out gently through your mouth - Try to make your exhale slightly longer than your inhale, as this naturally calms your nervous system.

Another lovely tool is the heart technique.

Place your hand gently over the centre of your chest and close your eyes for a moment.

Breathe in slowly for four seconds. Hold briefly.Then breathe out slowly for six seconds.

You can quietly say to yourself: "I'm calm. I'm happy. I'm ready for this."

Preparation Helps Ease Nerves

Preparation makes a huge difference in helping you feel calm and confident.

Instead of letting worries spiral, ask yourself: "What would help me feel more prepared?"

Reading through your ceremony script, practising your vows and becoming familiar with the flow of your day helps you to feel calm and in control.

Plan your wedding morning - think about what will help you to feel relaxed before your ceremony. Leave plenty of time to get ready. A quiet walk in the fresh air, listening to some good tunes and spending time with a close friend/ family member really helps to settle your nerves (even better if it involves a glass of bubbly!).

Trust everyone you have given roles to - they know what is expected of them - they know what they need to do. Delegate trusted friends and family members key responsibilities for the day so that you havea less to think about and then leave them to it.

"Whatever will be, will be .." - once it gets to your big day it's time to relax and enjoy! If something doesn't go entirely to plan - it's ok - all that matters now is making the very most of your magical day! If your relaxed and happy - your partner and your guests will be too!

Visualisation: A Powerful Confidence Tool

Visualisation works wonderfully for calming nerves. Close your eyes and imagine walking into your ceremony space on your wedding day - you feel calm, confident and excited!

Picture yourself smiling, relaxed and enjoying the moment. Imagine looking into your partner’s eyes and feeling on top of the world.

Adding little details - like what you’re wearing or how the venue looks - helps your brain become familiar with the experience, which makes it feel much easier on the day.

Act Confident!

Your body can really help your mind! Standing tall and confidently - shoulders back, head held high, smiling, breathing deeply and speaking clearly genuinely helps you feel much more relaxed and confident. You can even practise this confident posture in front of a mirror. Our brains respond to the signals our bodies send. Acting confident = feeling confident.

Be Kind to Yourself

If you notice anxious thoughts creeping in, ask yourself:

"What would I say to my best friend if they were feeling like this?"

It's often much easier to come up with advice when thinking of it like this.

With a little practice, you can replace worries with more helpful and positive ones.

Talk to Someone You Trust

Talking to someone you trust is always helpful - share how your feeling a friend, family member or your celebrant to help put everything into perspective.

At the heart of your wedding day, it’s about the two of you feeling on top of the world, making your life-long promises to celebrating! You've done it - you've having found your one true love - your best friend - your soul-mate and you've married them!

With the right atmosphere, the right words and a ceremony designed around your personalities, everything will unfold just as it should.

Thinking About a Celebrant-Led Ceremony?

✨If you're planning a wedding in the North East of England and you'd love a ceremony that feels warm, relaxed and completely personal, feel free to get in touch! I'd love to create the perfect ceremony for you.